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Results of The 3rd Multiannual Unsanctioned JRunners Half Marathon

Posted on Mar 12, 2013 by in Musings | 0 comments

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The first Unsanctioned JRunners Half Marathon in March of 2012 fielded three runners, the second in July later that year boasted six, the third was proud to have nine on the course. Naturally, God was mitztaref to the minyan.

The nine runners all showed up at 7 AM, but some were the DST 7 AM, and some still on the EST 7 AM. It actually made for a more fun run, as the group passed each other more and kibbitzed more.

Yaakov Bressler emerged the victor, laying down a blazing 1:25:36, a 6:32 pace. Steven Lacob took silver with a 1:32:20 showing. Moishie Gamss, flying tzitzis, foot booboos and all, took the 3rd spot on the podium with a 1:35:40 performance.

The mid-packers included Moshe Lewis, who established a PR by 3:43 en route to a 1:43:16, Matt Katz, who hung back with the caboose-pack for a bit and clocked a 1:45:07, and Levi Gutwein, who pulled away from the remaining DST 7 AM pack to finish at 1:54:45.

Finishing out the field was New Kid On The Block Simcha Wolin, who ran with Martin Bodek for the whole race, and finished at 1:55:05, Martin Bodek, who was woefully overdressed and took it chill for the day, at 1:56:21, and Shia Itzkowitz, who ran his 2nd fastest half-marathon ever, at 1:58:27.

Your final leaderboard looks like this:

Yaakov Bressler 1:25:36

Steven Lacob 1:32:20

Moishie Gamss 1:35:40

Moshe Lewis 1:43:16

Matt Katz 1:45:07

Levi Gutwein 1:54:45

Simcha Wolin 1:55:05

Martin Bodek 1:56:21

Shia Itzkowitz 1:58:27

However, everyone deserves some kind of award, but the trophies were all used up by the Academy Awards’ siphoning of all the available gold in the U.s. Hence, for this round, we’ll try to create different groupings to give everyone a chance to come out on top in some category or another. Let’s see now, how can I divide all this up?:

By clock:

DST

Lacob 1:32:20

Lewis 1:43:16

Gutwein 1:54:45

Wolin 1:55:05

Bodek 1:56:21

EST

Bressler 1:25:36

Gamss 1:35:40

Katz 1:45:07

Itzkowitz 1:58:27

By era born:

The Disco Era

Lacob 1:32:20

Bodek 1:56:21

Katz 1:45:07

The Shoulder Pads Era

Gamss 1:35:40

Lewis 1:43:16

Wolin 1:55:05

Gutwein 1:54:45

The Grunge Era

Bressler 1:25:36

Itzkowitz 1:58:27

By weight class:

Featherweight

Bressler 1:25:36

Lightweight

Lacob 1:32:20

Gutwein 1:54:45

Welterweight

Gamss 1:35:40

Lewis 1:43:16

Middleweight

Katz 1:45:07

Wolin 1:55:05

Light Heavyweight

Bodek 1:56:21

Cruiserweight

Itzkowitz 1:58:27

By footwear:

Non-Vibrams

Bressler 1:25:36

Lacob 1:32:20

Gamss 1:35:40

Katz 1:45:07

Gutwein 1:54:45

Wolin 1:55:05

Itzkowitz 1:58:27

Vibrams:

Lewis 1:43:16

Bodek 1:56:21

By region:

Passaic

Lacob 1:32:20

Gutwein 1:54:45

Wolin 1:55:05

Bodek 1:56:21

Brooklyn

Bressler 1:25:36

Gamss 1:35:40

Katz 1:45:07

Itzkowitz 1:58:27

Five Towns

Lewis 1:43:16

By facial hair:

None

Bressler 1:25:36

Lacob 1:32:20

Gamss 1:35:40

Lewis 1:43:16

Katz 1:45:07

Wolin 1:55:05

Bodek 1:56:21

Itzkowitz 1:58:27

Non-none

Gutwein 1:54:45

By JRunners membership:

Old Guard

Bressler 1:25:36

Lacob 1:32:20

Gamss 1:35:40

Lewis 1:43:16

Katz 1:45:07

Gutwein 1:54:45

Bodek 1:56:21

Itzkowitz 1:58:27

New Guy

Wolin 1:55:05

There! Pshew! Looks like I figured out a way to get everybody on top in at least one category. That wasn’t easy, but I hope this satisfies all the participants.

Stay tuned for news of the 4th Multiannual Unsanctioned JRunners Half Marathon, which will probably be some time in May (polls go up soon). It will be staged in Prospect Park. We’re hoping for at least 12 runners – to keep with the trend. We think we’ll have no problem attaining that. Thank you to everyone in the field for turning out! You lost an hour of sleep, it was cold, it was early, but you were there and you were awesome.

Martin Bodek,

Beat Reporter, JRunners.org

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